Know what you want; or get a mixed lot.
Here’s a short, true story that I like to call—Don’t ask and you (still) shall receive.
One very lonely day, Vickie (41), who had been single for two years, prayed to her deceased mother to intervene with God for a favor, “Just a date with a man. Please, just get someone to ask me out!”
Well, the next night she got a call from a friendly acquaintance who she had met some weeks earlier. He asked her if she wanted to grab dinner together. She accepted.
At dinner she was getting agitated because there was no romantic connection and this was not what she had had in mind when she made her supernatural request. Inside she was annoyed with her mother for messing up and sending her this man-friend instead of her soulmate.
Frustrated, Vickie excused herself, stepped outside, and cried out loud.
Then suddenly, she had a new thought and burst into laughter. “You’re right, Mom. I only asked for a man,” she said to the sky while laughing wildly, “I didn’t specify what I really wanted!” She laughed and laughed and she didn’t care who saw her—this was a big moment of realization.
“You got me, Mom. Next time I will ask for my soul mate!”
One year later, Vickie is engaged.
The magic is—Life wants for you what you want for you. Your history of relationships, jobs, and other life experiences point you to your preferences.
Each of your exes brought qualities and traits into your life—some qualities you appreciated; others you rejected. Use all of your past relationships to create a guide for what you are looking for, what you must have in a partner, and what you will not accept again.
If you’re not already doing your perfect job for perfect pay, look at what your past positions and roles have to show you about your preferences. Some jobs were a bore. Some jobs were rewarding. Rather than seeing the job as a singular experience, separate out the tasks and responsibilities into ‘like’ and ‘dislike’. Make a list of what you would truly want, if you could define your paid fun.
So, next time you get a mixed lot of stuff that you don’t want, consider this: Why not just pick your preferences? And get what you most desire.